I went to visit my Mom while she was connected to the Ventilator (breathing machine) in the Intensive Care Unit. At the time, she was breathing on her own, but she was unconscious and unresponsive. In fact, she was at death’s door. I knew she might leave this life at any moment, and I was already feeling the loss that seemed inevitable.
While I watched her labored breathing, I began to think about her battles with so many forms of cancer, and the grace and strength she had shown since her first cancer nearly forty-five years ago. I also thought about the example she set for me and her influence on my life.
I now believe that a person cannot be the same after a close encounter with death - either their own, or that of a loved one. It makes us face our own mortality and evaluate our priorities. This is one of the questions that came to me that day.
How do we know what’s inside us without being tested?
How does a person develop the ability to go forward when everything around them says “give up”? What prepares some people to be “heroes” when called upon? The size of the person inside has nothing to do with the size of the person outside. How can a person suffer terribly, yet keep a smile on their face? How can they look past their own problems and worry about other people’s needs?
What do I really believe, and believe in? What could cause me to turn back? Will I press on?
What do you think?
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